Self-talk: use it to build your self-confidence

We all indulge in negative self-talk. It puts us in a bad mood. Makes us anxious. Undermines our confidence. Reduces the effectiveness of our work. May even cause medical problems for us.

Our most negative self-talk tends to occur frequently. We become preoccupied with it. It is a persistent and constant form of worry. Mostly about events that happened in the past. And sometimes about things that might or might not happen in the future.

A simple breathing technique can help you to make it positive. It is easy for busy people to master. And short enough to fit into your daily routine. In other words you don’t need medication or the patience or the lifestyle of a zen master to make your self-talk positive.

Negative self-talk

Simply changing the rhythm of your breathing changes how you feel. Try it for yourself. Become as quiet as possible in yourself. Then let your breathing become calm, slow and shallow. Within minutes you will find this easy-to-do exercise stops your negative self-talk.

This change comes from taking your attention off what you are thinking about. It is now focused on your breathing. Which needs to be slow and shallow rather than deep. Because deep breathing tends to produce more agitation according to http://www.pe2000.com/breathe.html.

Make self-talk positive

With practice you can become skilled at making negative self-talk positive. So you can use it when you are feeling down or when stress begins to get to you. Just breathe shallow and slow breaths to regain your poise. When you do so you will experience a sense of presence and focus. The satisfactory feeling of being in control of your life.

Sometimes it is very easy to do

This breathing exercise can be easy for you to do. I was surprised at how easy it was for me. But on occasions I find it isn’t easy to get into it. Then I know my negative self-talk is more challenging than usual. So I have to persist to get the cure to work for me. The joy I experience when I succeed is well worth the effort. It frees me from my mind. “Which is the only true liberation,” according to Eckart Tolle.

Counting Your Breaths helps stop negative self-talk

Count one to ten breathing in and out for each number. One in-and-out, two in-and-out and so on. If this doesn’t stop negative self-talk try counting from ten back to one. You have to concentrate a little more on reverse counting which helps you to let go of your thoughts.

Find what suits you. My favourite routine is to count from one to ten first and then from ten back to one. Then I go to twenty and back. After a few weeks I learned to master from one to thirty and back. And now one to fifty and back makes my day.

It creates a calm oasis

Stopping negative self-talk creates an oasis for you. You feel a deeper presence. Your conscious self which lies beyond the mind. Experiencing it will help you reduce the effect of negative self-talks and grow and blossom.

Golden moments of positive self-talk

Weave these moments of calmness into your day. Restorative breathing enables you to take charge of your life. To control negative self-talk. And to enjoy what Winfred Gallagher calls “the kind of experience you want rather than enduring the kind you are stuck with”.

Countering your negative self-talk

This breathing exercise helps you to deal with negative emotions. Anger and fear reduces our intellectual capacity by 80% (www,synearth,net/healing/MasteringCalmness.pdf). Which greatly limits our ability to restore calm to our minds. And makes it impossible for us to pay attention to the moment.

 

References and URLS

Tolle, E. (1999) The power of NOW: London: Hoder & Stoughton.

Gallagher, W. (2009) RAPT: Attention and the Focused Life. London: Penguin Books.

http://www.pe2000.com/breathe.html.

www,synearth,net/healing/MasteringCalmness.pdf

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calmness

 

http://goodlifezen.com/2007/11/08/secret-of-instant-calmness/