• You have got to be generous to be really happy

    by  • June 3, 2013 • Happiness, Positive Psychology



    “You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”  ― Kahlil Gibran.

    Be generous. Use acts of kindness to help others. It makes them happy and research shows us that it will make you happy too.

    When you do reasonable acts of kindness. Provide support for others. And don’t over do it. It will increase your health and sense of well-being.

    Be generous. And you will fit in socially. Feel more positive. Be less upset by personal problems. Less anxious. It also gives more meaning to your life. Because it gives you a greater sense of purpose and well-being.

    Be generous and you will feel good about it

    When you help others. The self-forgetful act helps you physically. It increases your immune function. Slows down the ageing process.

    Be generous. It shows regard for others. That is good for your emotions. It brings you closer to your true nature. And to your spiritual traditions.

    Having a high regard for others helps you to connect with them. It gives you a higher sense of purpose. And a foundation for health, satisfaction and well-being.

    Be generous but don’t over do it

    When you are over generous. And overdo it you will suffer physically from it. And it can also effect your mental health. Altruism leads to well-being only when it is reasonable. When it doesn’t over stretch you physically and mentally.

    It seems that giving to others is good for your well-being up to a certain point. Once you increase your giving beyond this point it is less beneficial. And when you press further ahead it can become harmful for you.

    It is down to each of us to find the level of giving that is good for us. And to know the tipping point. Past which it is no longer good for us. This is when it is wise to stop giving. Once we are aware of this limit we will learn to manage our giving to the benefit of others. And to our own benefit as well.

    Nine tips on how to be generous

    1.  Be generous when things are going against you. And it will distract you from your own troubles. It makes you aware of your own good fortune. And helps you to appreciate how well off you are.

    When you help others it improves how you see yourself. Your confidence. Your optimism and how useful you feel you are. When you shift your focus to giving to others. It helps you to cope with emotional problems. So instead of  feeling bad why not just be generous and you will feel a lot better in yourself.

    2.  Be careful not to over do it. Be only as generous as your emotional state will allow. And as your energy level will take. If you over do it you can make things worse rather than better.

    Only do helpful things you have the energy for. And ability to do. And that you know will cheer you up.

    3.  Set a day to be generous. Do this regularly. A day when you raise your kindness level above the norm. By doing some volunteer work or other acts of kindness.

    4.  Use your strengths to help others. Your strengths are your personal resources, abilities, interests and expertise. You will enjoy using them. Get fully engaged in the task. Get better results. Feel useful and well thought of.

    5.  Develop an eye for kindness. The more of it you see the more you will experience in your life. Make a mental note of all the kind acts you do and see. Research shows it will make you feel more positive.

    6.  When you see and hear about kindness. It lifts your emotions and increases your wish to be generous. And you experience the benefits that it has on your well-being.

    7.  Be generous in a variety of ways. Find new ways to help other people. It makes it more interesting. Give time to people. Surprise them with a nice gesture. Offer them a sincere smile. Try  to see things from their point of view.

    8. Be aware of the people you are helping. And of their feelings. Are you tuned into them? How do they respond to you? Do they want your help?

    9.  Only help those who want your help.

    Begin to be generous now

    Start now to be generous. If you enjoyed this post be generous and share your joy with others by writing a comment in the comment box below. And move on from there to be generous in as many ways as you possibly can. It will make you happy.





    The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want by Sonia Lyubomirsky


    Coleman, Jessica (2012) Optimal Functioning: A Positive Psychology Handbook: Kindle


    We can use positive psychology to improve how we live our lives. So I love to share my understanding of it with others. To help them grow and flourish as I have. The posts on this blog set out to do just that. You need a lot of skill to make a relationship a happy one. So I write about relationship skills. Skills you can learn how to use in your own relationship. To keep it in good shape. To solve problems that may arise in it. And to improve the quality of your relationship. To make both of you happy.