• Confidence: How well do you measure up on this score?

    by  • September 7, 2015 • Confidence



    How well you regard and believe in yourself is the foundation stone of your confidence. It follows that the stronger this foundation is the more confident in yourself you will be. The components of this foundation are your belief and regard for yourself as a person who can make a significant contribution to society.

    For your confidence and self-regard to work in your favour it needs to be grounded in compelling evidence of your ability to perform well in the personal, social and professional areas of your life. When you look back on your journey to this particular time of your life you need to be able to point to the situations you handled, the difficulties you overcame, the problems you have served and the solutions you have found to life’s problems as you encountered them.

    How well grounded is your confidence?

    Only when your confidence is grounded in reality will it work for you. A shaky or ill-conceived foundation of misplaced self-confidence will not work. In this regard it is your own opinion of yourself and not other people’s opinion of you that counts. Your realistic, raw self-regard, without the varnish or bluff you are inclined to put on for others is what really matters.

    The journey to this point of realistic assessment of your true worth is a difficult one but one well worth making the effort to get bang on target. To do this successfully you need to strip away the outer layers of confidence and pretence and get right down to the basics and learn how to see yourself as you really are. A good  sound honest person who has real values, real virtues, real skills, a body of valuable knowledge with the courage to see yourself as you really are as a worthwhile and valuable person whoo has a significant contribution to make to the world you live in.

    Do you have the confidence to know your strengths?

    You need to know and believe in your strengths. Our strengths are the basis of our self-confidence. We all have strengths. Each of us has at least a handful of things we are good at. Of course some people have a wider range of strengths than average. Maybe you are one these lucky ones if not it doesn’t matter a jot for the key to success in life is to know your strengths and use them as fully and as appropriately as possible.

    Use your self-knowledge and the opinions of people you can trust to identify your strengths. Take note of any feedback you get about your strengths from these people. Learn to enjoy using your strengths and keep an eye out for the compliments and other positive feedback you get when you use them.

    How aware of your weaknesses are you?

    It is equally important to be aware of your weaknesses. These are things you just are not very good at either because you lack the skills needed to excel at them or they are things you have not come across before or they just do not challenge or interest you. Do not be dismayed by your weaknesses. Everyone but everyone has their fair share of them and nobody just nobody has a full compliment of strengths. And take from someone who knows that those who seem to have no weaknesses are just very good at covering them up. Whatever you do make sure you do not fall into this trap for doing so is the greatest weakness of all.

    Of course life being as it is none of us can get by without having to use our weaknesses. The trick is to be aware that it is an area of weakness and that you need to work hard to get a mediocre result at best. You are just not going to excel at it no matter how hard you try. But try up must. And remember it is your aawareness of this reality that will give you the confidence you need to succeed in the long run.



    We can use positive psychology to improve how we live our lives. So I love to share my understanding of it with others. To help them grow and flourish as I have. The posts on this blog set out to do just that. You need a lot of skill to make a relationship a happy one. So I write about relationship skills. Skills you can learn how to use in your own relationship. To keep it in good shape. To solve problems that may arise in it. And to improve the quality of your relationship. To make both of you happy.