• Now more and more 70+ year olds are dating

    by  • August 19, 2013 • Relationships

    dating“Love is a friendship set to music.” – E Joseph Crossman. 

    Dating is no longer just for young people. Now more and more of the young at heart 70+ year olds are dating. Those who are lucky enough to be healthy, young-looking for their age and willing to take risks.

    Of course it is not easy to meet eligible men or women of a certain age. The ones you fancy are always married or younger than you are. So you need to be clever and resourceful to find your ideal soul mate.

    The ideal one is not going to fall from the sky. You have to seek them out. And those who have done so are only too delighted to share their secret with you.

    Dating for companionship

    Many people of a certain age date for companionship. They want to meet people and have fun. There is no stigma in older people dating nowadays. Unlike previous generations who were totally scandalized at the very idea of it.

    “At the outset I was looking for physical attraction and marriage,” says 77-year-old Maria. “Then I changed my mind. Now I’m looking for companionship. I have plenty of delightful and interesting friends but I am lonely at weekends. I could do with someone to meet up with. To chat with. To share my leisure hours with. You get a little more cautious in your 70s. I have a nice home that I don’t want to share or give up. We get a little more set in our ways as we get older.”

    Dating for romance

    Romance is wonderful. We are wired to love and be loved. Little wonder that the 70+ generation have taken to dating in recent years. Since they are living longer and many of them lose their romantic partners in their 60s and 70s. In the past the surviving partner went into mourning for the rest of their lives.

    Life has moved on since then. So after a suitable period of mourning the bereaved ones begin to seek new romantic partners. They do so because they want to relive the joy of a romantic relationship. They are healthy and young at heart and they need the romance.

    Dating for sex

    Of course some over 70s seek a relationship to meet their need for sex. In 2011 Jane Fonda’s claim that she was having the best sex in her life at age 74 suggested this is as true for women as it is for men. But when she said later that she had used testosterone to boost her own sex drive it gave a truer picture.

    There is more to a relationship than sex. And some mature women like it while others don’t.  Many mature couples now use non-penetrative sex. It it easier for women of a certain age. Men can enjoy it just as well. And it adds a bit of spice to the relationship.

    Why more 70+ year olds use Dating Agencies

    Whatever your motivation finding the ideal partner is the tricky bit. The older you get the harder it gets to meet new people at work, parties or through friends.When you retire it is almost impossible. Which is why many 70+ year olds use online dating agencies.

    It is vital to choose the right agency. Take your time about this. Don’t go for the first one to pop up on your browser you need to look at what is available. Compare them and pick the one that seems to meet your needs. But bear in mind that many people are not what they say they are. For at least one in four of the men who use these sites are married. Even those who use the word separated are still living at home and sleeping with their wives.

    To help you avoid these pitfalls I suggest that you read http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201204/eight-ways-make-online-dating-sites-work-you. You should also read http://knoji.com/5-simple-tips-for-using-online-dating-sites-effectively/. And as a wise old woman said to me many years ago “May you be lucky in love”.

     

    Sources

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/jul/24/giving-dating-a-go-at-77

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2243126/Dating-sites-oldies-Only-love-total-loser.html

    Prime Time: Love, health, sex, fitness, friendship, spirit; Making the most of your life. by Jane Fonda.

    http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsweek/Excerpted_from_Sexuality_at_Midlife_and_Beyond.htm

     

    About

    We can use positive psychology to improve how we live our lives. So I love to share my understanding of it with others. To help them grow and flourish as I have. The posts on this blog set out to do just that. You need a lot of skill to make a relationship a happy one. So I write about relationship skills. Skills you can learn how to use in your own relationship. To keep it in good shape. To solve problems that may arise in it. And to improve the quality of your relationship. To make both of you happy.