• Self-Regulation: Facts about how to use it to get what you want.

    by  • May 27, 2013 • Positive Psychology

    self-regulation

    self-regulation

    “The first and best victory is to conquer self.”- Plato.

    Self-regulation is the core skill we use to develop ourselves. Without it we could not do so. It helps us to achieve our goals by:  1. Planning how we behave.  2. Using this plan to improve our ability to cope.  3. Being flexible in how we do this.

    According to Millar & Brown (1991) there are seven areas of skill in self-regulation.  1. Get the right information.  2. Evaluate it and compare it to what is the norm.  3. Decide to change.  4. Search for options.  5. Draw up a plan.  6. Implement the plan.  7. Assess the success of the plan.

    1. Get the right information for self-regulation

    Those who are good at getting the information they need for self-regulation usually:  1. Keep track of their progress towards their goal.  2. Are careful not to overdo it when working, eating or drinking.  3.  Judge what they are doing by the consequences of their actions.  4. Learn from their mistakes.

    Those who are not good at getting the information they need for self-regulation usually:  1. Don’t notice the effects of their actions until it is too late.  2. Find it hard to notice when they have had enough alcohol, food, sweets.  3. Don’t learn well from punishment.  4. Most of the time they don’t pay attention to what they are doing.  5. Often they don’t notice what they are doing until someone calls it to their attention.

    2. Evaluate the self-regulation information

    Those who are good at evaluating self-regulation information usually:  1. Believe their behaviour is similar to their friends.  2. Think a lot about what other people think of them.  3. Try to compare themselves to other people.  4. Have personal standards and try to live up to them.  5. Try to be like people around them.  6. Think a lot about how they are doing.  7. Know what they want to be.

    Those who are not good at evaluating usually:  1. Believe their behaviour is not that different from other people’s.  2. Don’t care if they are different from other people.

    3. Deciding to change your self-regulation

    Those who are good at deciding to change usually:  1.Are willing ti consider other ways of doing things.  2. Want to change something as soon as they see things aren’t going right.  3. See the need to change before others do.  4. It bothers them when things aren’t the way they want them.

    Those who are not good at deciding to change usually:  1.Find it hard to see anything helpful about changing their ways.  2. Find that others tell them they keep on with things too long.  3. They enjoy the routine and like things to stay the same.  4. They are set in their ways.  5. They keep doing the same thing even when it doesn’t work.

    4. Search for options for self-regulation

    Those who are good at searing for options usually:  1. Are able to accomplish goals they set for themselves.  2. Believe if they wanted to change they are confident that they could do so.  3. They have sought out advice about changing.  4. As soon as they see a problem or a challenge they start looking for possible solutions.  5. They believe there is more than one way to accomplish something.  6. They can usually find several different possibilities when they want to change something.  7. They are good at finding different ways to get what they want.  8. They call in others for help when they need it.

    Those who are not good at searching for options usually:  1. Doubt if they could change even if they wanted to.

     5. Draw up a plan for self-regulation

    Those who are good at drawing up a plan usually:  1. Once they have a goal they can usually plan how to reach it.  2. They usually think before they act.  3. Before making a decision they consider what is likely to happen if they do one thing or another.

    Those who are not good at drawing up a plan usually:  1. Have trouble making up their mind about things.  2. The put off making decisions.  3. When it comes to deciding about change they feel overwhelmed by the choices.  4. They come up with lots of ways to change but it is hard for them to decide which one to use.  5. They have a hard time setting goals for themselves.  6. They have trouble making plans on how to reach their goals.

    6. Implement the plan on self-regulation

    Those who are good at implementing the plan usually:  1. Can stick to a plan that is working well.  2. Have a lot of will power.  3. Are able to resist temptation.  4. Have rules that they stick by no matter what.

    Those who are not good at implementing a plan usually:  1. Get easily distracted from their plans.  2. Have so many plans that it’s hard for them to focus on any one of them.  3. Have trouble following through with things once they have made up their mind to do something.  4. Little problems or distractions throw them off course.

    7. Assess the success of the self-regulation plan

    Those who are good at assessing the success of the plan usually:  1. Reward themselves for progress toward their goals.  2. Change the way they do things when they see a problem with how things are going.  3. Only have to make a mistake one time in order to learn from it.  4. When they are trying to change something they pay a lot of attention to how they are doing.  5. They set goals for themselves to keep track of their progress.  6. If they make a resolution to change something they pay a lot of attention to how I’m doing.  7. I feel bad when I don’t meet my goals.

    Those who are not good at assessing the success of the plan usually:  1. Don’t seem to learn from their mistakes.  2. They usually decide to change and hope for the best.

     

    Sources:

    casaa.unm.edu/inst/SelfRegulation%20Questionnaire%20(SRQ).pdf

    Optimal Functioning: A Positive Psychology Handbook by Jessica Coleman

     

    About

    We can use positive psychology to improve how we live our lives. So I love to share my understanding of it with others. To help them grow and flourish as I have. The posts on this blog set out to do just that. You need a lot of skill to make a relationship a happy one. So I write about relationship skills. Skills you can learn how to use in your own relationship. To keep it in good shape. To solve problems that may arise in it. And to improve the quality of your relationship. To make both of you happy.