• Strengths are Pick of the Crop again

    by  • July 11, 2012 • Pick of the crop

    Strengths are the pick of the crop. The three most popular posts in the second quarter of this year are: No.1.  Accept Your Strengths and Weaknesses, No.2. Identify Your Personal Strengths and No.3. Use NLP to achieve remedial change.

    These three posts are the pick of the crop for April, May and June. Visitors chose them from the selection of 61 posts on self-help issues.


    No. 1 Pick of the crop: Accept Your Strengths and Weaknesses

    by  • April 4, 2012 • Favourites, Personal Development

    Acceptance is not convincing yourself that something is right when it is wrong. It’s acknowledging the reality of what is. Typically we have no problem accepting things we like. Tragically we go to great lengths to avoid things we dislike.

    Thus learning to accept the reality of our lives is not easy. Sadly many of us never quite manage to do so. We all have blind spots. And even the most successful, well-educated and psychologically astute of us, who take the trouble to look, will find more things to accept about ourselves.

    Acceptance is a life long process that we need to revisit every now and again. Use the five steps described below to guide you through this revisit. It will help you to understand the process more clearly. The steps are based on the work of Linehan (1993). You can also use them to assess how accepting you are. What areas of acceptance are difficult for you. And what you can do about them.

    No. 2 Pick of the crop: Identify Your Personal Strengths

    by  • April 6, 2011 • Building Strengths, Favourites

    All of us depend on our personal strengths to advance our careers. We also use these to achieve personal fulfillment and to manage our relationships. Yet very few of us know what our unique personal strengths are.

    This gap in our knowledge doesn’t really matter very much if we are one of the lucky few who are content with our lives.  It does however matter a lot if you are even a little bit dissatisfied, expect more from life and want to change things for the better.

    The importance of knowing our strengths is underlined by Seligman (2003). He also found that we need to use them regularly.   And that people who consistently use them are happier, more productive, and more creative. They can perform high quality work and even become healthier than those who mainly use their learnt strengths.  According to Linley (2010) our learnt strengths are the ones that we use but we don’t enjoy because we find them de-energising and unsatisfying to use.

    No. 3 Pick of the crop: Use NLP to achieve Remedial Change

    by  • May 12, 2011 • Managing Weaknesses

    NLP stands for for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. It uses internal dialogue as a ‘remedial change process’. And is ideal for solving personal problems. It helps us to spot blocks and barriers to progress. And to dismantle them. Which is why I decided to use it to tackle my Avoiding Conflict problem. It is my second biggest weakness. See my blog of 28 April, 2011.

    My avoiding conflict problem is deep routed. It is compulsive rather than habitual. Which makes it not just a routine habit. I feel compelled to do it. Which makes it difficult to change. And I need to use NLP to solve it. Because other problem solving techniques are unlikely to do so.


    For meaning of pick of the crop see: http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=73524



    We can use positive psychology to improve how we live our lives. So I love to share my understanding of it with others. To help them grow and flourish as I have. The posts on this blog set out to do just that. You need a lot of skill to make a relationship a happy one. So I write about relationship skills. Skills you can learn how to use in your own relationship. To keep it in good shape. To solve problems that may arise in it. And to improve the quality of your relationship. To make both of you happy.